Some Things, No Matter How Stressful, Are Worth the Effort

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I am about to share with you, one of my many short comings of being a parent.  Let's just say I was definitely a much better mom in theory, than reality.  I spent so many years around teenagers, I began to believe the little ones would be a piece of cake.

My kids love to brush their teeth.  They would brush their teeth 3, 4, 5 times a day if I let them. But most days, I allow them to brush them once, maybe twice on a really good day, and on a bad one…well, let’s just say, there have been times when I send them to bed with all that sugar on their teeth and regret it later.  I know what most of you are thinking,  Many parents have to fight their kids to brush their teeth. I should consider myself fortunate. I know. I know.  But let me explain.

When my 3- and 4 -year old decide they want to brush their teeth,  they first of all, must do it together. They both go into the bathroom, and my son, the 4 year old who is tall for his age, will reach over the sink and grab his Spiderman toothbrush and then hand his sister her Hello Kitty toothbrush. My son then turns the water on and reaches for his toothpaste. I will reach over to grab my daughter’s My Little Pony toothpaste, the one for “training” so she doesn’t swallow a ton of fluoride, and the argument begins.

"No. I want the Cars toothpaste.""No, this is your toothpaste.""No. '(whining commences)"Don’t you want Pony toothpaste? Aw look, pony is sad. Don't make pony sad.""No. I want Cars." (she's got a cold heart, like her dad. )"But you aren’t ready for Cars toothpaste and mommy bought the Pony one for you.""I want Cars."

This goes on for several minutes until I finally give in and ask her brother to hand me the Cars toothpaste. He is just finishing putting the paste on his brush, and I realize the water has been running all this time, thus negating all of my efforts to pay back the environment for my use of Aqua Net Hairspray in the 80s.

My son then begins to brush his teeth like a good little guy, as my daughter insists on putting the toothpaste on the brush herself,  which she cannot do. She tries for what in reality is about 15 seconds but feels like 15 minutes, then turns to me and asks me to do it. I do and she puts the entire glob of paste in her mouth, just behind her lip and in front of her teeth, and then asks for more on her brush.  Knowing that if I don’t do this, another 10 minute argument will ensue, only this time there will be toothpaste spit all over the bathroom floor, I go ahead and put a little bit more saying, “Ok. But that’s it.”  Then she turns the brush the wrong way and the paste glob falls on the floor. Now she starts to cry, but I quickly put some more paste on the brush. That’s just about the time when my 4 year old, who you all, by now, are probably thinking is the poster child for dental health, grabs his cup and fills it with water to rinse his mouth.  He swishes it around while looking at his cute little reflection in the mirror and SPLAT! With all his might, he spits the water across the sink onto the mirror and all over the back of my sink. He does this every single time. 

 EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

So I yell at him, because by this time all patience has left my body. My daughter reaches for her cup as my son decides he now needs to wash his hands. (Note: My son washes his hands like he is preparing for surgery. Soap all the way up to his elbows.) I am trying to stop him from his extreme washing when my daughter, who is tired of waiting for me to fill her cup with water, climbs on the toilet to reach the sink.  I reach over to grab her down, while my son dries his hands by shaking the remaining water onto the mirror and surrounding walls, just in case everything wasn’t covered the first time.  We do have towels.  I swear we do!  He runs out before I can yell again, and I stay in to lift my daughter up and down to rinse her mouth and then yell at her to not swallow the water and paste.

So now you see why I really don't like for my kids to brush their teeth. But of course, I know it is important to their oral health and the health of their entire bodies. We know this because since elementary school we heard about it. We saw the cute little tooth brushes and teeth cartoon characters and were told it is what we need to do.  And if that wasn't convincing enough, we saw examples of why we should do it.  One of my favorite movies as a little girl was  Pete’s Dragon.  Even then, I knew something wasn’t right about the Gogans’ dental hygiene.

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So, I  man up and go in the bathroom with those two angels from God who were sent here to make me pay for everything I ever did to my mom and dad, and go through the routine. Because one day, it won’t be so hard. And every day, it will be worth it.   

That’s what I remind myself of every time I think about what a pain the rear it is to not only put on my own sunscreen, but to put it on my kids as well. The experience is much like the tooth brushing one. My son doing what is expected until he gets bored and catching me occupied elsewhere, pours the sunscreen all over the place, including the clean outfit I just put on. My daughter, still wanting to be independent, wants it on her hands and even though I beg her to just rub her arms, not her face, she goes straight to the face, so she can then yell, “Mommy, you got it in my eyes!”

Yep. It can be a pain to put on sunscreen. It can be thick. It can be sticky. It can be messy. Had I not had my experience with melanoma, and the fear of it coming back, or even worse, the idea that may children can get it, I would probably walk out of the house 9 out of 10 times saying,

 “We won’t be out for long.”

“We’ll be in the car most of the time.”

“I’ll put it on later.”

Don’t wait until Melanoma strikes you to get the urge to fight off a little bit of extra time in your prep to leave the house. I can definitely understand the struggle to do anything with children, but remember, most things in life that are good for us, aren’t easy. Just think about how many of you like to exercise or eat broccoli. 

 Maybe one day we will read something like this, but with the words I've added. 

"But research is unearthing evidence that says that skipping mouth (skin) care is a dangerous strategy because what begins quietly at the gum line (outer layer of skin) can later set off a chain of events that can lead to heart attack, memory loss, stroke and miscarriage (skin damage, scarring, surgery, cancer, and death). And of all the measures we know of that can avert a potentially life-threatening disease, oral care(using sunscreen) is probably one the most effortless activities one can do."

Excerpt from Can Good Oral Hygiene Save Your Life

Thanks for reading. Until next time, practice safe sun.

Hey Girl..Wanna Cuddle Up and Read Light Skinned Mother's Blog with Me?

Surprisingly, there are still some people out there who don’t know about the “Hey Girl” memes.

meme:  an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture. 

Thank you Wikipedia.

If you don’t know, the “Hey girl” memes were created in 2008by Douglas Reinhardt on his Tumblr F#$@ Yeah! Ryan Gosling.

When asked, Why Ryan Gosling and why “Hey Girl”? in an interview on Knowyourmeme, Reinhardt answered:

Ryan Gosling is actually one of my favorite actors and seemed to be an actor that girls were generally attracted to. When the site first started, Xzibit Yo Dawg image macros were very popular on Tumblr. “Hey Girl,” seemed like a romantic, flirty version of “Yo Dawg.” The phrase itself was probably inspired by 90s R&B songs, cold medicine, and my inability to flirt.

The fact that Reinhardt was inspired by 90s R&B songs when coming up with the phrase, Hey girl, could quite possibly, make me  a little sweet on him, too.

I liked the “hey Girl” memes as soon as I saw them. If you are human, attracted to men, and have blood running through your veins, how could you NOT?  These are my recent favorites: 

I adore Ryan Gosling, buying fabric, and babies.  In these 3 photos he is the total package- my DREAM man.  Mr. LSM is still the best, though using these phrases with me wouldn’t hurt any.

 So why not have our “dream boyfriend” tell us that he wants us to take care of our skin and health?  I mean what woman wouldn't pass around these picture for the eye candy alone? If it gets the message out there, even better. 

Here is the first one I made:

I've been having fun creating these and trying to come up with tips while adding a little "naughtiness" to them.  I have to make them memorable, right? I've been posting them on my Light Skinned Mother Facebook page and on Twitter each day this week. Maybe I will take them into next week, who knows? There are LOTS of things to share about protecting yourself from skin cancer and there are LOTS of Ryan Gosling pics to be found.

I do hope they get around. So I encourage you to like my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter and SHARE SHARE SHARE!

As you can see, I am not above using gimmicks or sexy men and women to spread the word and awareness about melanoma. I wish I had this hunk of a man telling me to put on sunscreen when I was a teen. 

Who knows? Maybe one day we will hear Ryan reading some of my memes like he did here.

Watch Here

A girl can dream, right? After all..isn't that what the Hey Girl memes are all about?

As always, thank you for reading! Until next time, practice safe sun!

Do You Have the Power?

As I child of the 80’s and early 90’s, I cannot hear the word POWER and not think of the Snap song-

  The Power-Snap

Loved it!  It gets stuck in your head so easily.  A few years ago, he was the coach for my nephew’s football team. Every time I went to a game and saw Coach “Turbo”, I’d start singing, “It’s getting, it’s getting, it’s getting kind of hectic.”

That is the FIRST thing I think about when I hear the word "power." (I am a sucker for music)

The second thing I think about is this:

During my first year of teaching, I taught 6^th grade math and science. The local radio station would give Black History facts in the morning and follow with the reminder that Knowledge Is Power. Being a very excited brand new teacher, I totally believed that and made a sign with the saying and posted in my classroom.

I still believe it today, but when I think about it, I don’t think about all the education in the school books as much as I think about the knowledge we need to survive. The knowledge we need to protect ourselves from cancer and other diseases.

As I’ve mentioned before, I grew up on the island of Key West, FL. The sun  could be found everywhere. All. The. Time.  So, naturally, I was taught ALL about skin cancer and how to avoid it, right? WRONG.  Want to know my knowledge about skin cancer?
Here it is:

• Skin cancer comes from too much sun when you are at the beach.
• If I wear sunscreen, I will be ok.
• Dark, big moles are scary and can be dangerous.

There you go. That was my entire knowledge of skin cancer - Skin cancer = ugly moles.   I had a large, dark brown mole on my back since I was a teen. When I got into my 20’s, I started going to have yearly skin exams because of THAT mole. I thought it was the one that would be my doom- if that were my fate.  But, every dermatologist said it looked fine. I had that mole on my back until 3 months ago, when I made my new dermatologist remove it. It was benign.

The pink bubble pimple-looking mole that I had on my neck? That couldn’t be cancer. It was too cute. Too pretty.  It itched, and  I had it removed. Then it came back. Had I known that EVOVLING or ITCHING were two HUGE signs, I would have taken it more serious. I wouldn’t have procrastinated. I wouldn’t have rescheduled the appointment 3 different times! That’s right 3 times! All with at least a month and a half in between. They would have caught my melanoma long before it got to go deeper into my skin.  I would have known it really WAS something serious, but I lacked the knowledge.

You see when I went to the dermatologist it usually had to do with acne. I saw a dermatologist for acne from the age of 12 to 22.  There were no signs showing me what to look for when detecting skin cancer, but there were plenty of signs telling me how great I would look with Botox injections,  Acutane,  hair restoration procedures, facials, and peels.  How was I to know?

As I searched the web for this picture to show you a quick summary of the ABC’s of skin cancer, I could not get over how many stop at D.  The don’t even INCLUDE evolving.  No wonder I was clueless.

This is what everyone SHOULD at least be exposed to at any doctor's office, but especially the dermatologist.

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And then there are the OTHER signs:

Other Danger Signs of Malignant Melanoma
• Change in color, especially multiple shades of dark brown or black; red, white and blue, • Change or spreading of color from the edge of the mole into surrounding skin.• Change in size, especially sudden or continuous enlargement.• Change in shape, especially development of irregular margins or border.• Change in elevation, especially sudden elevation of a previously flat mole.• Change in the surface texture of a mole, especially scaliness, erosion, oozing, crusting, ulceration, or bleeding.• Change in the the surrounding skin, especially redness, swelling, or new moles.• Change in sensation, especially itching, tenderness, or pain.

Basically, any mole or growth that is CHANGING needs to be checked by a doctor.

This site wasn't afraid to tell it like it is. They felt it was important to give ALL the information. Kudos to Afraidtoask.com

I am so glad to be here for those who are newly diagnosed with melanoma, but I also hope to be reaching everyone who hasn’t been diagnosed.  

You see, 

• Melanoma is now the fastest growing cancer in the US.

• The chance of getting melanoma  was 1 in 1500 in 1940, then 1 in 67 in 2004, and now it's 1 in 50. 

I rather YOU find it BEFORE anyone else does. I rather YOU find it before it’s too deep or too late. If caught in the earliest stages, melanoma is entirely treatable with a survival rate of nearly 100%. If untreated and allowed to spread, there is NO known treatment or cure! You can find those facts on MANY skin cancer sites. Here is the site I used. 


Early detection is key, and to have early detection you must KNOW what to look for. Not  all melanomas are dark and flat and scary looking. 


Share this with your family and friends. Spread the knowledge everyone. Please give others the power to see what I did not.  

As always, thank you for reading and until next practice safe sun!

OH..and make sure to use your power for good...not evil. 

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What Do You Fear?

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

That’s a big fat lie.

I mean, no disrespect to FDR or anyone else who has quoted him, but the fear I feel when a roach is 10 feet away from me is NOTHING compared to the trauma I experience when one touches my skin, or OMG, my hair!  Then there’s the heebie-jeebie aftershocks I suffer for hours afterwards. I just shake and squirm and squeal at the slightest touch of air on my skin. It’s just awful. So I will take my Katsaridaphobia(fear of roaches) any day over one actually touching me.

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I think it’s fair to say that everyone knows fear of some kind. I used to think that people were taught to fear things, so I would make sure not to teach my kids to be fearful of anything. Well, I was wrong. Both my kids were born with the same horrifying fear their father has of any inanimate object with a face, especially one with eyes that move. I can’t tell you how many times I have walked into my own bedroom to find an antique doll, given to me by my mom, turned to face the wall, because “It’s creepy.”  I spent $50 on a talking Elmo doll that has gone missing MANY TIMES at the hands of the man I married. My two little ones were born with that gene. They didn’t have to see it or hear it from their dad, they turned away from dolls the first time I showed them one.

I've had many fears in my life. Often ones that never came to be, and then there were the ones that I never thought I'd have. Ahem..melanoma.  Over the years, I’ve shed a few of my fears, like my Aviophobia (fear of flying), but I’ve held on to many. There’s my  Coulrophobia (fear of clowns), Pupaphobia (fear of puppets), Thanatophobia (fear of dying), Emetophobia (fear of vomiting),  and Oompaloompaphobia ( fear of tiny orange men with green hair singing freakish songs about naughty kids). Ok, the last one isn’t officially in any reference book or medical paper, but I have studies going, people. Trust me, it's REAL.

I’ve also picked up a few fears as I’ve gotten older-  Soteriophobia (dependence on others), Cancerophobia (self explanatory), Heliophobia (fear of the sun),  Flatoblongishbuttaphobia (the fear of mom jeans) Yes, I have more studies in the works to make this one official, and Gerascophobia ( fear of growing old).

This last one reminds me of what Hillary Fogelson at PaleGirlSPEAKS said in a Twitter conversation.

She is SO right!

I used to think as a child, that I would grow old gracefully. I loved my great aunt’s silver gray hair. I swore I would dye mine all silver/grey at the site of my first one. That one came earlier than I expected. At the first site of creases on the side of my eyes in my 20's, i started slathering the SPF 90 on my face daily. It was then I realized that growing old gracefully is SO not me.  There are times when I think it is a blessing that I don't make a lot of money, because if I did, I’d take permanent residence in some cosmetic surgeon's office fighting and kicking age all the way to the end.

It took me a LONG time to like myself and the way I look. It took even longer to feel pretty, so I am in NO hurry for my looks to change due to age, but as my brother always says,

"No one WANTS to get older, but the alternative is worse."

And there we go again.. we should be thrilled to grow old. We should embrace aging, while fighting it with some good, strong SPF. You didn't think I would succumb completely did you? 

I wish I had thought about aging as I sat out in the sun trying to get darker. I wish someone had shown me a picture of the sun damage that was UNDER my skin already. I saw one, in my mid 20's, and that's when I started wearing sunscreen daily, not just at the beach. If you're not afraid of skin cancer (which you should be), then at least think about your looks. If I can get you to protect yourself based on vanity, I will shamelessly do it.  I don't want you to end up adding "dying of cancer" to your list of fears.

I'm still working on my fears. I figure I won't be able to shake most of the ones I've had long term,  However, I can safely assure you that I will never learn to embrace an Oompa Loompa.  Besides, those old ones aren't really a threat anymore. It's the new ones that I deal with mostly- the fear of the "C" word coming back, the fear of the sun eating me alive, and the fear of looking like a grandma, when I still want to "shake what my mamma gave" me.

 I invite you all to work on your fears with me. Share them and how you deal with them, if you'd like.  I'll keep you posted on how I am doing, and if you see me in some "mom jeans" I expect you to call me out, ok?

As always, thank you for reading. Until next time, practice safe sun!