I have been putting off the start of this blog for many
reasons, all of which you will read in my next post- the one I intended to be
my opening post. But tonight, things changed. As I scrolled through my personal
Facebook page, waiting for my kids to fall asleep, I clicked on one of many
articles about melanoma on my newsfeed.
This one particularly interested me because I, too, have been planning
to write about my experience with melanoma. As I read, everything that I have
been holding inside of me came flowing out like a dam being burst.
Out came the tears I have been unable to cry for months, the
unnerving fear of this awful disease coming back to threaten the time I have with my beautiful children, and the fact that it has the power to cheat me out
of the life I so badly want to live. I lost it. I went into my bathroom where I
could hide. Then I nearly cried my eyes out. I cried ugly, fearful, lonely, chest wrenching
tears. When I finally stopped, I decided I would share the article on my personal
Facebook page and promise my friends that I would not bombard them with any
more melanoma information until I started the blog.
On the short walk from the bathroom to my computer, I
wondered, what if someone had scared the hell out of me with terrifying
melanoma stories. Maybe I would have been more careful. Maybe I
would have cared more about my life than the way I looked. Maybe I would have
finally learned to love myself the way I am, rather than try to be what I
thought everybody else would prefer. That
is what made me decide there would be no more talking about starting this blog.
I was going to do it tonight.
The article I am sharing below is by a blogger who I just
discovered. She shares her history, or in her words, her “Herstory” of Melanoma. This actually isn’t one of the scariest
stories I’ve read, by any means. This amazing, beautiful woman has continued to survive as
a melanoma warrior and is using her experiences to help others. I think that is definitely something to be
celebrated. However, the article describes
the fear that now lives with me. The uncertainty of what is going to happen.
Yes, none of us live with certainty about our life, but once you have had
cancer, that “it will never happen to me” naivety is gone forever. You no
longer are able to live clouded by the fairy tale that you will live happily
ever after and that awful, scary things can happen to you, but they probably
won’t.
Don’t ignore the warnings. Don’t be ignorant to what you are
doing to yourself or what you are putting in or on your body. Be scared. Be
afraid. Be smart. Protect yourself and know the signs. And for God’s sake, know what you can do to
lessen your chances of ever having to deal with Melanoma.
Please read her story. Soon, I will be sharing mine.
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